hurricane supply and demand

i now know why there is such a rush and feeding frenzy for supplies before a storm or disaster is looming...people return things. i suppose i get it, if the thought process is that "well, i don't need it, maybe someone else can" but i believe the motivation is not so selfless. you come in looking for flashlights, D batteries, radios and water. you're willing to wipe the shelf out. nevermind the ten other people around you that want those D batteries as well, you're gonna buy all 10 packages. i'm not sure how many flashlights you must have that require that many batteries, but i am pretty certain you can light up your neighborhood now. and the radios. i was sold out 2 days before the storm hit, but the day after i was restocked, by all the people that didn't lose power and returned them. let's be realistic. batteries last for years. (i still have batteries i bought for hurricane irene last year that do not expire until 2016) don't you think that if you needed them now, you may need them at some point in the future? so save them, then you won't have to be part of the chaos next time. and if you really don't need 5 to 10 packages, then don't buy them! it's almost as bad as returning the bags of halloween candy after halloween because you didn't have as many trick or treaters as you anticipated.

the randomness of sale signs

ok, so it's sunday. the start of the sale. we spend hours putting sale signs up across the entire store, not to mention the few hours we spend taking them down. so can i ask a question? how long would you suppose it takes a child to remove a dozen or so signs and relocate them to a random shelf? keep in mind that this was in about the 3 1/2 foot height, so a small child. and what was the parent(s) doing while this was going on? this question poses 2 questions for me. 1- if the parent was present, and didn't care what the child was doing, remind me to never invite you over to my home. and 2- if the parent wasn't present, WHERE WERE YOU? does no one remember Adam Walsh? pay attention to your kids! and just for further information...the toy aisle in a store is NOT a built-in babysitter.
so yeah...had to sort and retag sale signs from 2 departments courtesy of a creative kidlet.

the flinging of the shoe

so mom, dad (well maybe grandpa) and 3 year old boy are shopping my store. well, let me clarify, 3 year old boy is terrorizing my store. loud. running. bouncing balls wherever he pleases...etc. the usual. they make their way into the seasonal aisle which happens to have summer remnants. on the other side of this aisle is back to school. i walk by the front of the aisle to find mom trying to hold a top shelf into place. plastic bottles are starting to slide off the shelf. so i rush over and slide my arms under the shelf and try to slip it back into the bracket. "i got it" i tell her. "my son flung his shoe up there" she replies. "excuse me?" did i just hear her right? she starts to nervously laugh and repeated that his shoe is up there somewhere. so i stretch up on my tiptoes and move around the bottles to look for this shoe. "there's no shoe up here" by this point dad (or grandpa) comes up the aisle with the little terrorist. (i guess he flung and run) dad asked what happened and when mom told him he turned to the little terrorist and laughed and then said "jeez buddy, we can't take you anywhere" so mom says "ohhh it must've fallen in between" ummmm, there is no in between. the gondola is capped off so nothing can slide between the aisles. i explain this to her and said "wait a sec" i walked around to the next aisle and moved a few displays from the top shelf. there it was. the flung flip-flop. and i had to touch the dirty, nasty-looking thing. she put it on him and proceeded to continue shopping. or terrorizing depending on your perspective.

the dye

so, i consider myself an observant person. my current store is 10 aisles wide, 2 deep. not very much area to cover. each aisle is probably less than 30 feet long. so how, given the parameters, do i miss someone dying their hair in my store?
i was working on a saturday night. i made my way over to the second to last aisle, straightening and pulling old sale signs. i noticed behind some hair color a ripped open package. damn, again? yup, someone stole some 5-hour energy drink again. (this is a very common thing...you'd think i'd be able to tell the customers that are all jacked up on this crap) so as i go to straighten the other boxes of hair color, one looks a bit off. sure enough, i take it off the shelf to find the top ripped off and dye all over the box. inside, the gloves are obviously used, the dye tube is missing and the applicator is covered in dye! seriously? how the hell did this happen? listen, i'm used to the typical shoplifting...candy, energy drinks, makeup and condoms. but how the hell did this happen? now, the logical side of me says that someone had to have brought this box back, right? shoved it on the shelf, maybe grabbed another? but why? i just have this visual of someone dying their hair "cinnaberry" in the middle of aisle 12.

welcome to the jungle!

i'm not sure where this is going to go. i've worked in retail all my life. it started as a part-time high school job, continued thru college and eventually became my career. i think i have heard it all, but not a week goes by when a customer doesn't enlighten me with their wondrous words of wisdom or even actions. i've decided to share with you some of the moments that make me laugh, scream or hurl obscenities. i can't believe how some people conduct themselves in public. but hey, i'm not here to get on a soapbox and lecture...i'm here to just share my musings. enjoy.